Sunday, February 7, 2016

February Must Go!

As a month, February is the dirty bum of the calendar and, despite it's real length of 28 (or in the case of this year, 29) days, it's apparent length is approximately eternity. February is the month, at least here in the Northern Hemisphere, in which days which begin like this


often end like this... or worse.


Even the most pleasant and placid of people get antsy whilst others get irritable; I myself become entirely irascible... Unfortunately, rather than quaking with a deeply satisfying fear, most folks tend to find my irascibility entertaining. This I find really quite disappointing, even dismaying.

January one expects to be a foul month and so one is prepared for it; March is busy rushing around roaring like a lion and gives us the Ides of March (the 15th) with it's history of assassination and sacrifice. We know to beware of March and it's false hints of spring. February? It promises sweetness and silliness with Valentine's Day and Leap Year but what it really delivers is overly commercial, saccharine and pretty much dull and boring.

I think I shall write my congressman and suggest he introduce a bill to rename February. Arse would be an appropriate substitute. Then I'll suggest we opt to wipe Arse from the calendar.

And now for some appropriately NSFW music sto 'borrowed' from Deborah, the bee seeker.


18 comments:

  1. I agree about February. Here in NW Wisconsin, it does seem like the longest, not the shortest, month of the year - because it's yet another winter month, sandwiched between snowy January (which at least is SUNNY) and snowy March (which is never, ever spring here), so it only drags on and on. But we are already at day 7, so that helps.

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    1. When we are quite finished with February I shall be euphoric, but of course, still Cranky. ;-)

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  2. February is a crap month indeed. All the crummy snow is sooo annoying. Arse would work well.

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    1. Now if I can just be 'arsed' to write my congressman..

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  3. My mother called February the longest month of the year, not the least because her birthday was the 4th, leaving nothing to look forward to. So, she can have February; I think March is the longest.

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    1. In March, at least, I'm starting seeds and there is usually a day or two, at least, when I can potter around outside, getting things ready for gardening.

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  4. I don't know what it would be like to still live in that kind of climate. Somebody in our house is miserable in THIS climate in February. Son-of-a-bitch, give ME a drink!

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    1. If I were able to drink alcohol, February is the month in which I'd join you.

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  5. Perhaps we can just get rid of it all together. It is often our hottest and sweatiest month and I am not a fan. Just spread it out over the other months and come up with a new rhyme to remember how many days each of them have. Except that I always liked the version which said:
    '30 days hath, etc, etc..., all the rest have 31, excepting Grandma who rides a bicycle.'

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    1. Your February seems to equate with our August; perhaps we should split the temps and each have a couple of pleasant months. Can't say I've ever heard your version, sounds more fun than the traditional one!

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  6. Usually our hottest month, although maybe not this year, so I would happily see February disappear.

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    1. As Captain Picard would say: "Make it so!"

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  7. I just told my Shug the other day for such a short month it sure seems long. I said when he retired I want to go somewhere south for the month of February.
    Thanks for visiting my blog!
    Cindy Bee

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    1. I vote for spending all winter elsewhere.

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  8. LOL...and of all days, have to get out and head to Crawfordsville. Fun, fun, fun! I meant to comment on this the other day, but for some reason didn't. Now it is even more appropriate for me.

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  9. I don't mind February as long as I can stay inside where the airconditioner is. February currently holds four family birthdays for me, used to be six, then my parents died. (Long ago now, so no condolences are necessary.)

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C'mon, be cranky and let 'er rip!